The Craziest Old-Timey Jobs Surely You’re Glad You Don’t Have!
Unveiling the oddities hidden behind desks and dustbins of the past.
Introduction:
Ponder this discomforting fact: A chauffeur from the 19th century, trimming a lamp wick. No, not as an eccentric hobby or a top-hatted goth trend – it was part of an actual job! Back in the day, having the title of a ‘Lamp Trimmer’ was equivalent to being a full-fledged candle barber. Wild, right?
1. Leech Collector
Sanguivorous Side Gigs.
Feasting on the fringes of the medical field, ‘Leech Collectors’ literally waded through swampy mires to snag these hematophagous critters. Kinda gives a new meaning to “working in the field,” huh?
2. Groom of the Stool
Royal Rump Duties.
Talk about getting personal! Serving your liege lord is one thing, but ‘The Groom of the Stool’ had the unsavoury task of aiding kings in…ahem…private matters. Gives a whole new meaning to “assisting at the throne.”
3. Sin Eater
Unholy Heartburn.
Before the era of fast-food drive-thrus, ‘Sin Eaters’ were summoned during funerals to absorb the wrongdoings of the deceased over a loaf of plain bread. This was less ‘fast food’ and more ‘hasty exorcism,’ though.
4. Knocker Up
Rude Awakening.
Before alarm clocks, there existed human alarms called ‘Knockers Up’. These folks were armed with long sticks or pea-shooters to rouse slumbering souls. Talk about a job that really…knocks you awake!
5. Resurrectionist
Graveyard Shifts.
The title ‘Resurrectionist’ brings to mind an ethereal, near-magical profession. Instead, it signified someone who dug up fresh corpses for medical study. And by “fresh,” we mean…well, not bad enough to warrant a courtesy call to the local perfumer.
6. Tosher
One’s Trash… Is Another’s Treasure?
Though it sounds like a euphemism for a village fool, a ‘Tosher’ was a specialist in sewer excavation, spelunking the bowels of London for lost treasures. Perhaps this will get tossed into the “unappreciated jobs” bin?
7. Petardier
Career in a Bang!
Bomb disposal seems stressful nowadays, consider ‘Petardiers’ who had the explosive responsibility of setting off medieval siege weapons. Retirement plan often included a sudden, surprising relocation.
Conclusion:
From the comfy clinch of your modern swivel chair, the distant past may look charmingly naïve. After all, we’re now in an era where ‘waterslide tester’ and ‘professional sleeper’ are genuine jobs. Yet, despite our advancements, we’re still concocting strange occupations, like someone concocting a cup of coffee for a bed-headed astronaut.
Vote on your favorite Old-Timey Jobs
Bonus: Useless Fact:
