Jokes for the day

Why did the piece of toast go to therapy?

Because it couldn’t deal with the pressure of being bread every morning, but then it realized it was just on a roll. The real problem was, it couldn’t seem to make a clean slice through its issues. Just when it thought it had everything buttered up, the jam of life would always spread it thin!

And the therapist said, “You knead to stop loafing around, your problems are all just a bunch of bologna.

Why did the frustrated book join the gym?

Because it couldn’t handle its own TABLE OF CONTENTS… but ironically, it ended up in the bestseller section… under “DIET”!

Why did the cell phone break up with the spare battery?

Because it felt too “drained” and said the relationship was too “negative.” But the spare battery said, “Wait, I thought we were ‘positive’ about this!”

Turns out, the cell phone was in love with the charger. It said, “You always know how to ‘spark’ my interest!”

Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore?

Because they found out atoms make up everything…even fake news!

Why don’t we ever hear about the adventures of the useless calendar?

Because its days are numbered… but it can’t count!