Jokes for the day

Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk. But the scarecrow? He’s the one who always cracks up, he can’t keep anything straight-faced, because he’s outstanding in his field!

Why did the joke join a self-help group?

Because it realized it was punchline-less… but then it said, “Wait a minute, isn’t that my punchline?” and everyone laughed, except the joke, because it still didn’t get it!

Why don’t we ever ask time for favors?

Because it always ticks us off, claiming it’s too hands-on and second-guesses everything. And even when we wind it up for a joke, it just goes in circles and eventually alarms us by revealing it has been the face of our problems all along!

Why did the hipster refuse to use his brand-new boomerang?

Because it was too mainstream… he only throws things that don’t come back, like his career opportunities!

Why don’t secrets ever go on a diet?

Because they always end up getting leaked, and it’s pretty hard to lose weight when you’re always getting spilled around!