Jokes for the day

Why don’t we ever ask a calendar to keep a secret?

Because its days are always numbered, but worst of all, it has a week every month!

Why did the self-help book break up with its reader?

Because it got tired of him not committing to turning over a new leaf!

Why did the smartphone apply for a job?

Because it was tired of being unemployed and heard there were plenty of “cell”s available. But after getting hired, it was shocked to find out it was working in a “battery” farm!

Why did the chameleon buy a smartphone?

Because it wanted to take a selfie, but every time it tried, it just camouflaged with the background! The phone company told him the model with the “anti-camouflage filter” will be out next season!

Why did the scarecrow break up with the cornstalk?

Because it heard that corn was a-maize-ing at playing hide and seek, and it couldn’t handle a-ear of not being able to find its partner. But the real twist? The scarecrow was just outstanding in its field, but not so great at commitment.