Jokes for the day

Why was the tomato blushing?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

Wait…no, that’s wrong. The tomato was actually blushing because it finally realized…

…it couldn’t ketchup with the rest of the vegetables at the garden party!

Why did the smartphone apply for a job?

Because it was tired of being charged for just lying around! But, after the interview, it didn’t get the job because it couldn’t stop taking “selfies” during the meeting… and its references were all made up stories from auto-correct!

Why don’t we ever hear jokes about paper?

Because they always fall flat… until you get the one about origami, that one usually folds up the crowd!

Why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they’re really good at it…

But do you know why elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees!

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

No? Well, it must work!

And what’s the loudest sound in the forest?

A giraffe eating cherries!

Why don’t we ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

Because even they know, the only time anyone hits the jackpot is when they finally find the missing TV remote!