Jokes for the day

Why don’t we ever hear a penguin go on a date?

Because they can’t break the ice, but they sure can slide on it… And the only pick-up line they know is “You’re flippin’ cool!”

Why did the eraser break up with the pencil?

Because it said, “I just can’t deal with your pointless issues anymore!”

Why did the insomniac get a job at the calendar factory?

Because he thought he’d finally get some dates… but all he ended up doing was losing track of days!

Why did the scarecrow become a comedian?

Because he was outstanding in his “field” but his jokes were always “corny” and never “crop” up when you needed them! He was lauded for his humor, but at the end of the day, he was still a “bale” out in telling a good joke!

Why did the hipster refuse to laugh at my time-travel joke?

He said it was too mainstream because he heard it next week!