Jokes for the day

Why don’t we ever hear a joke about paper?

Because it’s always tearable! But the real kicker is, even when it’s hole-punched, it still thinks it’s in mint condition!

Why don’t we ever hear a joke about paper?

Because it’s tearable… but here’s one anyway!

Did you hear about the piece of paper that broke up with his girlfriend, the pencil?

He said, “I’m sorry, but you’re just not my type. You have a point but you keep on drawing conclusions and frankly, you’re just too sketchy!”

Why did the scarecrow refuse to tell any jokes at the farmer’s convention?

Because he heard the crowd is all ears, but they can’t a-tractor a good punchline!

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

But then, the cucumber yelled, “Don’t blush, tomato! It’s just Thousand Island, not Hawaii!”

And, the olive added, “Yeah, chill out! It’s not like it’s dressing up for the Oscars!”

But the ultimate twist?

The salad bowl whispered, “Guys, stop! You’re making the croutons stale with these useless jokes!”

Because even in the vegetable world

Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm?

Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk. But the worst of all are the tomatoes, they ketchup!