Jokes for the day

Why did the memory foam mattress break up with the alarm clock?

Because every time it got comfortable, the alarm clock would go off saying, “It’s time to move on!”

But the mattress was like, “Stop pressing my buttons, I can’t just forget everything overnight!”

Why did the bookmark break up with the dictionary?

Because every time they went out, it felt like he was just using her for definitions… until he met the thesaurus and felt a real connection with synonyms!

Why did the scarecrow break up with his girlfriend?

Because she said he was outstanding in his field, but it turned out he was just a corny guy who couldn’t stop straw-ting around!

Why did the mayonnaise get an award?

Because it was the best at spreading itself too thin, but when the moment came to receive the award, it couldn’t because it was stuck in a tight squeeze bottle. The irony… the award was for ‘Spreading Excellence!’

Why did the scarecrow become a stand-up comedian?

Because he was outstanding in his “field” but his jokes were always corny. Today, he tried a new one:

“Why did the tomato turn red?”

Because it saw the salad dressing!

But even the crows didn’t laugh… they just flew away.

He thought, “Maybe I’m not cut out for comedy… maybe I should just stick to my day job – scaring crows.”

But then he realized… the