Jokes for the day

Why did the scarecrow win the lottery?

Because he was outstanding in his field, but he couldn’t claim his prize because he didn’t have any ID. So I guess you could say he just… straw his chances away!

Why did the joke file for unemployment?

Because people said it was punchline deficient!

But don’t worry – it’s appealing… it said, “I can’t work under these conditions, it’s too much ‘pun’ pressure!”

Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore?

Because they make up everything… even the “No Joke Today” sign at the comedy club!

Why did the smartphone apply for a job?

Because it was tired of being unemployed and thought it had all the right ‘cell’ qualifications. But during the interview, it couldn’t get a ‘signal’ from the boss. So it finally admitted, “I guess my career plans are just on ‘vibrate’ mode!”

Why don’t we ever hear jokes about paper?

Because they’re always tearable…but this one’s my favorite: What did the blank sheet of paper say to the pencil?

Stop writing me off, you’re just lead-ing me on!