Jokes for the day

Why did the hipster refuse to play cards with the jungle cat?

Because he was afraid he couldn’t deal with the cheetah… but really, he just couldn’t bear to play a game that’s so mainstream!

Why did the frustrated stand-up comedian throw his calendar out the window?

Because he heard he had to “kill time” to be successful, but all he got was “days of week” laughter… and one very angry neighbor!

Why did the scarecrow refuse to be a comedian?

Because he heard that in his line of work, if you’re outstanding in your field, they stuff you with straw and leave you out in the sun all day!

Why did the spider get fired from his web design job?

Because his boss found his work full of bugs and every time they had a meeting, he kept saying he felt a little “caught up” in the world wide web. Plus, he wasn’t very good at addressing the “site” issues; he’d just spin another web!

Why did the scarecrow break up with the cornstalk?

Because he realized he was just in it for the husk, and that’s just a-MAIZE-ingly shallow!