Jokes for the day

Why did the scarecrow refuse to compete in the Ironman triathlon?

Because he heard it was outstanding in the field, but completely useless in the swim and bike ride!

Why did the memo go to therapy?

Because it felt “noteworthy” but everyone called it “pinned up” and eventually, it just couldn’t “stick” it out anymore!

And when the therapist asked, “So, how does that make you feel?” The memo replied, “I feel very much ‘attached’ to my problems!”

Why did the book go to therapy?

Because it had too many “issues” it couldn’t “cover” up. And when it tried to get a “spine”, it just fell apart!

Why don’t we ever tell secrets in a cornfield?

Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beans, well, they just can’t keep their mouths shut; but the tomato, he’s the worst, he always gets sauced and spills the whole thing!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why my vegetable garden is on probation!

Why don’t we ever hear a joke about paper?

Because it’s tearable… and then it’s not really a joke anymore, it’s a mystery novel!