Jokes for the day

Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore?

Because one of them suddenly said, “I lost an electron!”

And when they asked, “Are you sure?”

It replied, “Yes, I’m positive!” And then it started doing the Cha-Cha Slide in the lab, shouting “Slide to the left, slide to the right, Criss-Cross, Criss-Cross!”

What’s the punchline? Well, now not only are atoms making bad jokes, they are also leading Zumba

Why did the trash can apply for a job?

Because it wanted to stop being a waste of space!

But guess what, it was hired as a recycling bin, now it feels used all over again!

Why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they’re really good at it… And they’ve all taken up online poker, so they’re too busy bluffing with their trunks to bother coming down!

Why did the scarecrow refuse to compete in the Ironman triathlon?

Because he heard it was just a bunch of farmers carrying watering cans around, and he said, “That’s the last straw, I’m not just some field decoration! I will not stand for this!” So he quit, and now he’s a stand-up comedian… specializing in corny jokes!

Why don’t secret agents ever use their own coffee machines?

Because they don’t want to be accused of spilling the beans!

But then they tried using the espresso machine and now there’s grounds for depresso!