Jokes for the day

Why did the mathematician refuse to work with negative numbers?

He believed they always subtracted from the conversation… but then he found out they can actually ADD a lot of value when they divide people’s attention. But in the end, all they really do is multiply problems!

Why did the dictionary break up with the thesaurus?

Because no matter how hard the thesaurus tried, he just couldn’t find the right words to express himself! And as for the dictionary, well… she always had too many definitions for everything!

The thesaurus felt redundant and the dictionary found him – quite frankly – superfluous, surplus, unnecessary, needless, inessential, unessential, nonessential… you get the word!

Why did the scarecrow break up with the calendar?

Because it was tired of the calendar’s dates always being so corny, but when it complained, the calendar said, “Hey, I’m just trying to keep things current, so deal with it or leaf!”

Why did the joke break up with the punchline?

Because every time they got together, people laughed at their relationship!

Why don’t we ever hear about a joke winning an award?

Because it always cracks under pressure!